How It Works: It’s almost the same as the regular version of the Stifle, except in this version you’re allowed to stand all the way up and celebrate someone dunking on your teammate because your teammate is Dwight Howard. The Reaction: The Dwight Howard Variant of the Stifle Here are some of the reactions they missed: They didn’t hit any of the Premiere Post-Dunk Celebrations, nor did they create any one-off eccentric ones that can stand on their own. It was a good post-dunk bench reaction for the Spurs, but a bad post-dunk bench reaction for the league. And Kyle Anderson appears to pick up a tiny piece of litter, because the Spurs are probably (definitely) very anti-littering. Pau Gasol and Patty Mills sit there like Tony.

LaMarcus Aldridge gets up and looks at David Lee. David Lee gets up and looks at LaMarcus Aldridge. on some 'Come with me if you want to live' shit, and so now whenever Kawhi stands up Manu stands up, too. Manu (next to Tony) stands up because he saw Kawhi stand up, and I imagine there was probably a moment during the offseason after Tim Duncan announced his retirement when Kawhi showed up to Manu’s house at, like, 4 a.m. Tony Parker (next to Kawhi) doesn’t move because Tony Parker only moves for championships. He stands up, waits for half a second while his microprocessor loads the appropriate response, and then gives a couple of very 'Is This How a Human Claps?' handclaps. It’s a little bit grainy, but here’s the bench: He did so with such force that several of the Spurs players on the bench reacted, which maybe doesn’t sound like much at first, but it’s the Spurs, so dunking with enough force to make them react is like dunking with enough force to make a painting come to life. He did so with such force that a team of gravediggers jogged out onto the court and dug a plot for McGee under the basket. He did so with such force that the remaining Warriors fans gasped. Simmons is a devastating leaper, and so despite McGee’s otherwise overwhelming length, Simmons rose and Rose and ROSE, waiting for McGee to fall back to earth, and then he fucking supreme-clientele-dunked it on his head. Javale McGee, reacting in time but without understanding the seriousness of the situation, slid over and tried to cut Simmons off.

He exploded into the lane around poor Patrick McCaw, who no doubt was expecting Simmons to either hold the ball or toss up a Do Nothing jumper. So, as the clock neared its end, Simmons took off. The Spurs were up by 27, so there was no need for them to take another shot, but there were five more seconds on the game clock than there were on the shot clock, so there actually was a need to take a shot, because a thing that a lot of people don’t know about the Spurs is that anytime they have a shot clock violation, Gregg Popovich gets to cut a finger off of a person related to the player who was holding the ball when the buzzer went off. “Not to stereotype, but there were lots of jock-looking dudes whose only interest was to go in there and hip check and shoulder check as many people as they could as hard as they could.With less than 15 seconds left in last week’s Spurs-Warriors game, San Antonio’s Jonathon Simmons was dribbling the ball out past the 3-point line. “In the mid-to-late-’80s I saw lots of people going into the pit specifically to wreak havoc and perpetrate violence against others,” Ian says. Suddenly, a cultural element that had defined solidarity turned into a divisive contest of physical strength. This dynamic changed, though, when the big metal bands outgrew the club scene and started getting booked at mid-size venues, outdoor sheds and eventually arenas and festival grounds. “And then you learned, oh, I shouldn’t act like an a-.” “In 19, if you went into the pit and you were a jerk, you were going to get yanked out and maybe knocked out,” Ian says. The crowd at the Lamb of God concert on Feb. Bands didn’t want to watch their fans get hurt and when bad apples entered the pit and threw their weight around, either the artists onstage or concerned crowd members often tried to remedy the situation. Pits became more violent, but the core values of metal fans were similar to those from the hardcore scene. In the mid ’80s, popular thrash metal bands, including Anthrax, Metallica, Slayer and Megadeth adopted the rapid-fire rhythms and chugging, surging riffs of hardcore metal.

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